Dear Aunt Agony

The person who originally set up our group is still our Chair after three years and refuses to let anyone else stand for the position. They feel that because the group was their idea, this gives them an absolute right to decide what the group's priorities should be. We've lost some good people because of this attitude. What can we do?

Perplexed of Peartree

Dear Perplexed

The answer lies in the word 'group' doesn't it? If you want to succeed, you're going to have to do it as a team. The whole point of a voluntary group is that it brings together a group of people who all feel strongly about a particular issue. Everybody's view counts equally.

Sometimes however, the person whose idea it was in the first place has difficulty sharing the decision-making, often clinging on to the role of Chair like a limpet and resisting all challenges to their perceived authority. This is known in the voluntary sector as the 'it's my baby' syndrome. The point about being a Chair, however, is that it doesn't give you any more power than other committee members, just a few more responsibilities. The decision-making power of the group lies with the whole committee by democratic vote.

What could be the reason for the Chair refusing to let go? Obviously they want to see the group succeed but may be having difficulty understanding that their behaviour is actually counter-productive to this process. They may have some deep personal connection with the issue the group was set up to address. For example, losing a loved one to a medical condition is often the spur to set up a support group for sufferers and carers of people with that condition. It then becomes very difficult to challenge the person on anything because their loved one is used as emotional blackmail to rebut any argument, turning it into a personal matter.

If you're not careful, other people in the group may start using the same tactic, with the result that everything descends into an "I care more than you do" argument, which will split and ultimately destroy the group.

Try and find out why the Chair feels as they do. Talk to them and point out that you're all in it for the same reasons and everybody's opinion is equally valid. Maybe they might feel better if they were still on the committee but not as Chair - then they might not feel pressurised into defending everything on a personal level. As long as they can see the group is achieving its aims they'll be happy. And it's more likely to do that if everyone's pulling together. The more good people you drive away, the more work descends onto those that are left. And ultimately the person who started it all may find that they're left on their own…holding the baby!

(from Network News, May/June 2004)

Click here to return to the main page.